It's all good!

We have a "blob" as Mike is now referring to the baby. Heartbeat 170 bpm. It was just beating away. Measuring 9w1d. So we've got a quick little grower in there! Official edd is May 29, 2009. Yaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a much cuter note

This is my dog, the treat snob. He's so obnoxious but so dang cute!

Pug-O-Rama was this weekend. It's the big fundraiser for the Southern Nevada Pug Rescue where we got Chiisai and sweet angel Yoda. I've been pretty involved with them since we adopted the puggies. We foster pugs until they find forever home and go to meet ups and such. Anyways, my friends asked me to run the adoption booth for a few hours and of course I said yes. Such sweet babies were there.

On with the point though... at the gate they gave out doggie treat bags. Chiisai is a well known treat snob in our house. No one at the pug rescue believed me. If you know pugs at all, they are only one step removed from vacuum cleaners and garbage disposals. They will generally eat ANYTHING. Not Chiisai. He is VERY picky about the treats he'll eat and the few he does, he'll usually only eat if he gets them from Mike or me. (He's a smart one and doesn't take treats from strangers. Haha!) Late in the afternoon, Mike and I were eating our picnic lunch and I decided to give Chiisai one of the treats. He sniffed it and walked away. He wanted nothing to do with it. Then he saw another pug come nearby. He snatched up the treat and carried it around. Not biting it at all, just showing it off. He jumped up on me, then on to Mike, then back to me, then to the ground, etc... This went on for a good ten minutes. I called my friend Angie over and said, "Do you see my dog? He's being a treat snob!" That is when this picture was taken. He did eventually eat the treat but very grudgingly. He's such a pain but he makes me laugh every day!

What do your pets do to brighten your day?

Waiting, waiting

My first ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow at 2:00. I took the whole day off of work. I know that there is absolutely no way I could make it through the day with everything weighing on my mind. I don't even know if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I'm scared as hell. I know rationally that there is absolutely nothing I can do, but I hate waiting. I'm so scared that we'll get in there and hear bad news. There's nothing to lead me to that but it's there nonetheless. So please think of us tomorrow. We could definitely use it.

In other pregnancy news, I am not hungry. Like, ever. I know I need to eat (especially to be able to take my medications), but I just can't even stand the thought of food. I don't have morning/all day sickness. I haven't thrown up or gagged so far (I know, I'm lucky. Believe me, I count my blessings every day!) I just have no desire to eat. Anyone else have this?

Wait? What?!

So, I generally like the administration at my school. Both the Principal and Vice Principal are very nice ladies. They are both also new to our school. We have had so many changes this year that I think many of our heads are about thisclose to exploding. New math program, about half of our staff is new, new reading ideology, etc, etc, etc... But we have all been dealing pretty well, I think.

Yesterday was a different story for me. I was walking out of the builing at a little after 4 (because really what teacher ever gets out on time?) My Principal was still in her office and had the door open. I waved bye and a "have a good night" and kept walking. Then I hear, "Katie, can you come in here for a minute?" Umm, ok. I know I haven't done anything wrong so I wasn't worried, but our principal has a way of grabbng people and roping them into teaching staff development activities or going to classes and such. No. It wasn't any of those types of things. It was her telling me thatI can't bring my kids out for the FIVE MINUTE break that I give them to use the restroom and run off a bit of energy. Seriously people, five minutes. I bring a timer. After they've been in school for 2 hours and are getting antsy.

I used to troop all my kids down and stand in line while they all used the restroom, but that seemed like a waste of time to me. Some kids never needed to go but they had to stand there quietly anyways while we waited for EVERYONE to finish and line up again. Ugh! Talk about a waste of academic time.

This year, I started bringing them outside for five minutes and allowing them to run on the field for five minutes. Anyone that needed to use the restroom or get a drink - this was their time to do it. And it's been amazing how many fewkids I've had leaving my classroom during work times. I just ask, "Can you wait until our break time?" and usually they have no problem with that. They really just need a break for a minute or two.

(A little background here. My kids don't get a "recess." They have whatever time they get before the bell rings in the morning and ten minutes before lunch. And that's IF we get out perfectly on time. Which is rare.)

So, my principal has decided that my break time is a waste of my precious academic time and I need to do the line up and wait thing again. Yes, you're right. Much better use of my time. Oh, but to make it "academic" I should bring Brainquest or "sponge" activities, or just ask questions like "who can give me three combinations of 10?" Yes, what a blast. Now, mind you my kids LOVE Brainquest. We do a few questions every day at the end of school. But they need a break! I don't think five minutes is hurting anything. Infact, I really think it helps because they can get out and clear their heads. Heck, it gives ME five minutes to clear my head.

So, now that I have written a small novel and completely rambled, what do you think? Should kids have the chance to have a short break from classroom routine or is it too much of a loss to the time they're in school? What was recess like when you were in school? If you're a teacher, what is recess like at your school? How long do your kids get outside?

Bananas. The miracle fruit?

So, for the past month I have had zero energy or motivation. Zip. Ziltch. Nada. My house has been the most complete wreck of a house I have ever seen. It's been horrible. I have slowly been going crazy. I have tried to get Mike to help but he has, well, not helped.

I tell you all of this to share this lovely piece of information: I think bananas are a miracle fruit. I have had bananas for breakfast the past two days and the past two days I have had energy. My house is clean(er). My dishes are done. My loft is picked up and dusted. A load of laundry got done. It's amazing! Now, my miracle will probably stop working now that I've shared. But I will continue to eat bananas until they do stop working. :)

So scared

So, Saturday night I couldn't sleep due to major stomach pain. It felt almost like food poisoning. I wasn't worried that it was the pregnancy because it wasn't in the right area. Much higher than where the baby is growing. Anyway, I ended up tossing and turning in bed until 3:00 in the morning and then got up to find something to do. I wound up in front of the computer doing random surfing. Looked up stomach pain in pregnancy and couldn't find anything that really fit my symptoms. At about 5:30, I fell asleep on the couch and slept fitfully until about 7:30. I was feeling better. ::sigh of relief:: I went about my day trying to tak it as lightly as possible. I had promised to help the pug rescue get raffle baskets together, so I went over there for a few hours and we got it done. Hooray for accomplishments.

Sunday night, I went to the bathroom and saw some pink on the TP. It was a bit brighter than anything I've had before but I wasn't too worried. I told Mike just so he would be informed. Any other time I've had this, it's been gone again the next time I go to the bathroom. It wasn't this time. The next time I went to the bathroom, there was still pink and a very small clot was in the toilet. My heart sank. Clots are not good. I tried to stay calm but it was useless.

I came out to Mike and told him I might be losing the baby. I explained what was going on and started crying. I can't help it. The huge fear of another miscarriage is taking over my brain.

I had another fitful night of sleep and my stomach is in nervous knots. I'm trying to breathe and calm myself down. I know my blood pressure is off the charts. ::breathes deeply::

There has been no more spotting or clots so far this morning. Unfortunately, I have to go to work today. I wish I could stay home and put myself on bedrest for the day. I'll just feel much better if I can get through the day without anything else happening.

Please say a little prayer or send a thought our way. Please stick little one.

***update*** I called the doctor's office this afternoon. After dealing with their normal phone rediculousness, the nurse basically told be everything is normal. Since the spotting has stopped and the cramping wasn't doubling me over, she said I'm fine. I'm still worried. Last time I had no cramping at all and the spotting was never a "period like flow." It does make me fell better though that there hasn't been any further spotting or cramping. Now I'm just hoping I can live through the next week until the u/s. ::breathe::

Oops

I'm a bad blogger. I have no excuse. I just haven't felt like blogging. ::hangs head in shame::

I really don't think I have much to talk about though still. Let's see...

The pregnancy is going along well (as far as I know). My only symptomsare still just extreme tiredness and a pretty consistant uncomfortableness in my stomach. It's not cramping per se. It's more like a cross between gas pain, nausea (without the actual feeling of needing to throw up), and hunger (without being hungry). It's uncomfortable. But I'm definitely happy that's all I have. ::knocks wood::

I'm looking for a new doctor. The doctor I'm with is very good and very nice, but the practice he's with is just too large for me. I need a smaller, more intimate environment where I feel that the entire staff is knowledgeable and that I'm not just a number. Plus, Dr. Nice doesn't deliver at the hospital close to my house. So, Mike and I went to a health fair at the hospital close to our house. It's a new hospital and not very busy at this point. Tons of practices had booths set up and doctors available to talk with. We found three ob/gyn practices that I'm going to look into next week. They are all 3-4 doctors and looked like much more of what I want. One doctor I talked to is actually leaving the practice he's been with because his other partners are joining the ginormous practice I'm currently with. He doesn't like the hugeness either. (Mind you, he did not come out and say that, but it was implied. When I said, "I am looking for a smaller practice. The one I'm with now is just too big." He replied, "You must be with "insert name of largest practice ever"." "Yeah," I answered. He nodded knowingly.) Good to know that even doctors think that the practice is ridiclously large.

Mike has decided he wants to be an air traffic controller. He's been looking into it for a good month now and has found a school in Washington state he wants to go to. It works out really well because the school I want to get my Master's in is in WA as well. The scary thing is that according to some research he's done, he must be done with school and hired by the time he's 31. That's only 4 years away. The program is 2 years long. So, we're going to have to move sometime in the next two years. This scares me because I don't know what the housing market will be at the time. I'm hoping that we will at least be able to get what we paid for the house. As it is, we're very upside down on it. ::sigh:: C'est la vie.

Alright, I'll stop now. I say I have nothing to write about and here ends one of my longest, most rambling posts.

Do you guys have any exciting life changing plans happening soon? How do you deal with the anxiety it causes?

I'm a great wife.

Really. I am. Mike agrees. But to look at me the past few weeks, one would think I was the laziest person on the planet. My house is a complete wreck. Dishes have been piling up everywhere in the house. Laundry is overflowing from the hamper. It's horrible. And it's been driving me CRAZY! But I've just been so dang tired that sleep has overtaken all other impulses. I hear it's one of those dang pregnancy symptoms. Thank all in the heavens that that is really my only symptom. Occasional heartburn and some cramping, but mostly just plain-old, flat-out, tired!

So, yesterday I tried to work past the tiredness. Not that I really had a choice. It was my school annual Harvest Hoedown. Basically, a little fall fun and games thing we've done every year for, well, ever. I was in charge of the Floating Cups game. THANK GOD Mike was there with me! Do you realize that every time a kid misses the stupid cups, the ping pong balls go bouncing all over hell and creation?! Mike was a trooper and chased down most of those balls. We cheered on the kids and I passed out prizes. Yaay me! But the few balls that I did chase down, as well as the setting up and taking down of the booths took it's toll. I was completely useless for the rest of the afternoon. I layed on the couch, sleeping, reading, and feeling ill. It was awful. And I learned my lesson. I cannot run non stop anymore. I HAVE to rest.

Today, I was feeling much better and I decided I had to get some things done. I sat down and planned out my day.

First, plan dinners. We have got to start saving money and with my being tired so much recently, we have been eating out most nights. (score another one for my great wifeness). This is not good for my body or our budget. So, I searched though my online sites and chose meals that sounded appetizing and at least somewhat healthy. My menu for the week is:

• pork chops and rice casserole
• kung pao chicken with stir fry veggies and jasmine rice
• tortellinis in olive oil and garlic w/ asparagus
• turkey, bean and rice burritos
• caramel apple pork chops w/ mashed potatos and green beans
• buffalo chicken burgers w/ pickles and baked fries
• garlic and parmesan checken w/pasta and cauliflower
• Chili garlic pork chops w/rice and green beans

Then, I made a list (yes, I live for lists) and set out. I went to the library and looked for some pregnancy books. I found this one that looked promising, so I picked it up. I also picked up this book for Mike. Don't think he'll read it but flipping through it, I was cracking up.

Then, we went to the store and bough all the stuff for all of our meals for the week. Plus a few extras like breakfast bars and the like. So yaay. Now we're set.

I came home, rested for awhile, and then set out cleaning up around here a bit. Dishes are all done (thanks to my bribing Mike with cookies) and most of the laundry is finished. The sheets on the bed have been changed and dinner is cooking in the oven. Oh, and I prepared Snickerdoodle dough to attempt to make those cookies I promised Mike. We'll have to see how they turn out. I have never made Snickerdoodles before.

So hooray! My title of great wife is slowly coming back. If those cookies turn out, maybe I'll be SuperWife for awhile. Haha.

How have you all been doing? Have you ever made Snickerdoodles before? I much prefer Chocolate Chip, but oh well. What's your favorite cookie?

What's your comfort level?

See that new ticker up there ^? It freaks Mike out. Does it freak you out? Please tell me because I don't want to freak you guys out. I think it's pretty dang nifty, but I'll move it to the bottom of the page if it'll make you more comfortable. :) And BTW, have any of you wondered how they get those detailed pictures of the babies at each stage? I have. But I'm afraid to look it up because I have a feeling I don't really want to know.

School cuts again?!

Alright, so I don't know if I mentioned this before, but my school's budget (well, ALL schools in Clark Counties budgets) were cut by 70% at the beginng of this year. That means that our previous budget of $100,000 we ran on last year is only $30,000 this year. This includes all of our paper supplies, copier maintentence, toner for printers and copiers, pencils, erasers, etc... Understandably, we have been freaking out over how we're going to make it through the year. Well, it was annouced today that they are cutting the budget by an additional 12%. WHAT!? How the heck do they expect us to run a school of almost 700 on $26,400. That equals out to about $37/kid for an entire year. I truly do not understand how they expect a school to run on this. And I don't know where we can make more cuts from out budget. We're already down to brass tacks. I guess my kids will be writing with pencil stubs, broken crayons, and worn out markers by the end of the year. Heck, at this rate, I'll be lucky if they aren't using them by the middle of the year. ::sigh::

Grant

I heard back from the grant people today. I was not one of the recipients this year :( Oh well, I knew it was a long shot. I'm glad that I tried though. They hope to have money to award next year, so I'll just apply again. We'll see what happens.

Ah, a sigh of relief

Ok, the nurse ACTUALLY called back today and didn't keep me waiting! Thank you very much! :)

My numbers are looking really good. HCG is up to 1560 and progesterone is staying about the same place at 16.7. It made me feel sooo much better today and I was able to stay calm and collected today even though I was falling over from the feeling that I haven't slept in days. Nevermind the fact that I have been falling asleep between eight and nine every night. HA.

So, I have an ultrasound set up for October 28th (I'll be 8w4d) and my first appointment with the doctor on November 4th (I'll be 9w4d). So yaaay, things to look forward to!

Now that everything's been someone settled at least for a few weeks, the pregnancy talk should slow down some. I'll start posting my random junk again soon. :)

Choices

I feel that I am making a choice every day to allow myself to embrace or keep my distance (figuratively of course) from this pregnancy. Some days are better than others. Last time it took about 9 weeks to really wrap my head around the whole thing. We lost the baby at 10 weeks. So my brain says that as soon as I really start accepting that I *should* have a baby next summer, the dream will be shattered soon after.

In an attempt to stop this vicious cycle, I am going to try to live by these affirmation statements. I pulled them from one of my boards a long time ago and have had them saved on my computer since then.

1. "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."

2. "I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise."

3. "My past does not dictate my future. A previous miscarriage does not mean I will have another miscarriage."

4. "There is nothing I can do to prevent a miscarriage from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a miscarriage. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive."

That last one is the hardest. It really easy to say that worrying doesn't help anything, but I'm a natural worrier, and it's really hard to try to be calm during all of this.

But, I did get my second set of beta results yesterday. HCG went from 81 to 400. Progesterone went from 16.4 to 16.2. That HCG number makes me happy. That progesterone number is kinda scary. The doctor isn't concerned about it though so I guess I'll try not to be worried either. I went in for yet another blood draw yesterday. The nurse said she would keep an eye out for my results and get back to me on Monday. I'm not holding my breath. I'll be lucky to hear from them by Tuesday. Either way, let's hope those numbers continue to climb.

So, in an attempt to follow the second mantra up there, I went searching for a pregnancy ticker. There are some really cute ones out there! So, now I need help choosing one. Here are the top four contenders:

Choice #1.


Choice #2.


Choice #3.


Choice #4.


Which is your favorite?