Fears. I has them.

I must have fears of my doctor.  I don't feel like I have fears but every time I go, my blood pressure shoots up.  WTH body?  To prove my point, I give you this example from today.

I had an NST at 1:30.  I was running late by about five minutes and worried that I was going to put the very nice NST lady behind schedule.  I got in, sat down, hooked up, and then nice lady took my blood pressure.  118/84.  Perfect she said.  She looked back over my charts and noted that my blood pressure has never been high there.  I could tell she was kinda wondering why exactly I was there since she hadn't seen any reason for it.  But she didn't say anything.  The rest of the NST went well.  Baby's baseline heart rate was around 120 with really good accelerations up to 154.  Go baby!  And all my fluid levels are "perfect."  So, good to know I'm not leaking anything that shouldn't be leaking yet.

Jump to my doctor's appointment.  I had run some errands in between the two appointments so I was feeling pretty proud of myself.  I was running late but not worried because the office is ALWAYS running behind.  I signed in, sat down, and waited while reading my book.  I got called back maybe 10 minutes later.  Sat down on the table and the nurse took my BP.  140/90.  WTH!?  An hour ago it was perfect!  What do you people do to your blood pressure cuff?  It can't be me, right?  I think I must have a fear of the table.  Yeah, that's it.

Other things learned at this appointment: The doctor will allow me to go one week past my due date without induction "unless my blood pressure skyrockets."  In which case, he wants me to deliver at 39 weeks.  That would make May 22nd.  To which my thought is, "Which BP readings are we using?"  Because, as we have just learned, my BP is only high at YOUR office.  At home I'm great.  NST's office is perfect.  So let's just hope he'll take that into account.  I REALLY don't want to be induced.  Especially since it doesn't seem to be necessary.

Woohoo!

The roll must have meant a yes!  My doctor's appointments went really well yesterday.  The baby didn't really want to cooperate with the ultrasound tech though.  She wouldn't face the camera and she was hiding her girly parts so we couldn't really get any good pictures.  Oh well.  She's measuring right on target and they say she weighs 5 and a half pounds.  WOW!  Go baby!

Then, off to the NST.  They hooked me up to the monitors and her heart was just beating away.  Everything went up and down the way it was supposed to.  And I'm having contractions.  Who knew?  We watched them come and go and make those little hills on the monitor paper. Mike was kinda freaking out because they were happening pretty often and all he kept saying was "Aren't they supposed to go away when you lay down?"  (We learned this in our birthing class.  Good to know some of it stuck with him.)  So, we asked the nurse.  She said it's all normal and nothing to worry about.  I know what they feel like now and am feeling them quite often.  They come and go and aren't painful at all but it's strange.  I'm not ready for her to make her appearance though so these need to go ahead and slow down.

Last was the actual doctor's appointment.  We actually got in pretty quickly (a rarity at this office) and our appointment went well.  I didn't get to keep my clothes on though.  Boo.  They did the group B strep swab thing and the doctor did an internal.  OUCH!  I'm "half a fingertip dilated" according to the doc.  Good.  Just stay right there. Oh, and my blood pressure?  NORMAL! (124/72).  Yaaay!  So, biggest news:  The doctor decided that I get to be a regular pregnant person now.  No more worries about pre-eclampsia or hypertension.  I don't have to go to the NST's anymore (but I chose to keep one per week just for my own peace of mind) and NO MORE PEE COLLECTIONS!  You have no idea how happy I am about that.

So, there you go.  A very good update.  Next up:  the nursery.  We're getting the paint and all of the tape and stuff tomorrow.  Then, we'll tape things off and hopefully get things done by next weekend.  ::fingers crossed::

Where to start?

I haven't blogged in so long that I don't even know where to start.  So the time between blogs has gotten even longer and then more happens and then I'm even further behind.  Ahhhhhhh!  It's a vicious cycle I tell ya.  So, today I'll just do a listy type blog and give you the basics of the past few weeks.

1.  My students know I'm pregnant.  Yes, finally.  I told them during a St Patrick's Day writing lesson about why I'm lucky.  Their reactions:  "I knew it!!!"  I had to laugh.

2. My 24 hour urine collection (affectionately referred to as "The Pee Jug" by Mike and me) results came back perfectly normal.  No proteins (or at least the normal amount).   When I dropped it off though, the nurse had to make a stupid comment.  Here I am, carrying in a bag with my jug 'o pee, feeling stupid enough.  I walk back to the lab to give it to the tech.  Lo and behold, she's not there.  Great.  So a nurse comes by and asks if she can help.  I tell her I just need to drop off my 24 hour urine collection thing.  She says "Oh, well do I just need to leave it?"  Yep, that's all.  She says, "Oh, I can take it for you then."  And she does.  Then she looks in the bag and says, "wow, that's a lot of urine!"  Gee, thanks.  My reply was, "Well, apparently you pee a lot in 24 hours."  

3.  All that being said, I'm still being monitored for signs of pre-eclampsia.   My blood pressure at the last appointment was 148/72.  The doctor came in and said, "Well, you're not going to like this, but I'm going to need you to do the 24 hour urine collections every two weeks."  Ugh!  I pretty much begged not to to.  I asked if there was anything else.  Can't I just get some specimen cups and some of the little dip stick things the doctor's office uses? Apparently no, those aren't as reliable.  So, I'm on pee jug duty again today.  And every other Sunday it seems for the remainder of the pregnancy.  But as long as it leads to a healthy baby in the end, I'll deal.  It could be worse.

I have other updates and stuff to make (with pictures!) but I need to find my camera cord before I can share.  So, that's all for now. 

Ah, a sigh of relief

Ok, the nurse ACTUALLY called back today and didn't keep me waiting! Thank you very much! :)

My numbers are looking really good. HCG is up to 1560 and progesterone is staying about the same place at 16.7. It made me feel sooo much better today and I was able to stay calm and collected today even though I was falling over from the feeling that I haven't slept in days. Nevermind the fact that I have been falling asleep between eight and nine every night. HA.

So, I have an ultrasound set up for October 28th (I'll be 8w4d) and my first appointment with the doctor on November 4th (I'll be 9w4d). So yaaay, things to look forward to!

Now that everything's been someone settled at least for a few weeks, the pregnancy talk should slow down some. I'll start posting my random junk again soon. :)

Choices

I feel that I am making a choice every day to allow myself to embrace or keep my distance (figuratively of course) from this pregnancy. Some days are better than others. Last time it took about 9 weeks to really wrap my head around the whole thing. We lost the baby at 10 weeks. So my brain says that as soon as I really start accepting that I *should* have a baby next summer, the dream will be shattered soon after.

In an attempt to stop this vicious cycle, I am going to try to live by these affirmation statements. I pulled them from one of my boards a long time ago and have had them saved on my computer since then.

1. "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."

2. "I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise."

3. "My past does not dictate my future. A previous miscarriage does not mean I will have another miscarriage."

4. "There is nothing I can do to prevent a miscarriage from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a miscarriage. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive."

That last one is the hardest. It really easy to say that worrying doesn't help anything, but I'm a natural worrier, and it's really hard to try to be calm during all of this.

But, I did get my second set of beta results yesterday. HCG went from 81 to 400. Progesterone went from 16.4 to 16.2. That HCG number makes me happy. That progesterone number is kinda scary. The doctor isn't concerned about it though so I guess I'll try not to be worried either. I went in for yet another blood draw yesterday. The nurse said she would keep an eye out for my results and get back to me on Monday. I'm not holding my breath. I'll be lucky to hear from them by Tuesday. Either way, let's hope those numbers continue to climb.

So, in an attempt to follow the second mantra up there, I went searching for a pregnancy ticker. There are some really cute ones out there! So, now I need help choosing one. Here are the top four contenders:

Choice #1.


Choice #2.


Choice #3.


Choice #4.


Which is your favorite?

And the answer is....

My insulin levels actually were high. I'm shocked. Truly.

I have an appointment to talk to the doctor about the next course of action. On Thursday. As in, THIS Thursday. Like, two days from now. It's amazing to me that the first appointment I could get when I said I couldn't get pregnant was a month and a half wait, then another three months of "try this and see what happens". Now, suddenly they can get me in immediately. Mind you, I'm not complaining about me getting in so quickly this time. But why couldn't we get to this point 5 months ago?