Thursday, July 31, 2008
He does think I have PCOS. He says it's a tough diagnosis to really pinpoint because there are so many symptoms that you could have that could mean that you have it (or don't). He's going to treat me for it though because all signs point to it and the treatment for it is what should help me anyways.
He prescribed Metformin to help handle the high insulin levels. I'm ready and kinda excited about this one.This should hopefully help with other issues I've been having as well (weight gain and acne specifically). ::fingers crossed:: My friend Sarah called it "the pretty pill." ;) We shall see.
He also wants to put me on Clomid. This scares the crap out of me. Good thing though that there's things that have to be done before the Clomid is started. I have to get an HSG done to check and make sure everything is clear in my tubes and ovaries. And Mike has to have his sperm analyzed to make sure all the little swimmers are good to go. I pretty sure they're fine since we did manage to get pregnant once before, but it's good to know for sure. And I shouldn't have to be the only one to get things analyzed.
My plan is to try the Metformin (and still Provera) for three months and see what happens. If nothing's different after that, then we'll move ahead with the monitored Clomid cycle.
Taking many deep breaths and jumping in to the world of infertility.
I know he's going to ask if I have any questions. I know that as always I'm going to go totally blank. There's going to be tons of info or whatever and I'm just going to try to look like I'm functioning. My stomach is already in knots and this blog is taking twice as long to write because my hands are kinda shaking and my brain is not remembering where all of the keys are. ::deep breath:: I know I'm getting myself all worked up and making this much more than it is. But I am truly scared. I'll update when I get back.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I have an appointment to talk to the doctor about the next course of action. On Thursday. As in, THIS Thursday. Like, two days from now. It's amazing to me that the first appointment I could get when I said I couldn't get pregnant was a month and a half wait, then another three months of "try this and see what happens". Now, suddenly they can get me in immediately. Mind you, I'm not complaining about me getting in so quickly this time. But why couldn't we get to this point 5 months ago?
Friday, July 25, 2008
...is my new desktop background. Just add a cape and he could fly.
Also, cd1. Meh.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
So, lesson learned. My car has an attitude and I need to be more sensitive to it's needs apparently.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Other updates: Reynee is being adopted (or may possibly already be with her new forever family), I got my stupid insulin done but haven't heard back the results, and it's cd27 and I'm at low (finally) on the CBEFM. Yet another month down the drain.
Oh, and I found out that "U-Dub" has a library masters. Now I've just got to look into it and see if it's a good fit for me (and if it's even a possibility for me to get in).
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Good side: All levels that were tested were normal. I asked what this entailed and was told testosterone, lh, choleterol, glucose, estrogen, etc...
Bad side: for some godforsaken reason, they didn't test my insulin which was apparently what the doctor really wanted to know about. It's why it had to be fasting levels. Arg!!!! So, I'm going back tomorrow to get the stupid insulin test.
Apparently, doctor thinks I might have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome). After looking it up, I say there's no way. Yes, I have a lot of the outward symptoms (overweight, anovulatory cycles, acne), but I have hardly any of the actual effects (high testosterone, extra body hair, hair loss, high glucose, high blood pressure, elevated cholestorol). So, I'll be very interested to see what he says when these results come back.
Do any of you out there have PCOS and can share your experiences? How did the doctor determine you had it? What treatments did they prescribe?
Right now, I'm so lost and confused. And I'm not looking forward to another insanely long wait to hear results. And, it seems like this is what the doctor is leaning toward and I wonder what he'll do if the results don't tell him what he wants to "hear." What else could be wrong?
Oh, and in CBEFMland, we're on cd22 - still frickin' highs with no end in sight. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).
Why 1001 Days?:
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as new year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities. I believe the original site for the project was here.
Start: Monday, July 14, 2008
End: Monday, April 11, 2011 (wow, that seems like such a long way away)
Think of 101 things to do in 1001 days finished 7/14/08 ;)
2. Frame wedding picture from Evan
3. Frame other pictures
4. Hang pictures in the house
5. Travel outside the U.S.
6. Paint the main living areas of the house
7. Finish the Japanese CD’s
8. Watch all of the Bleach series
9. Learn to sew
10. Sew a costume
11. Take some dance classes
12. Keep my car clean for at least one month
13. Enroll in a master’s program
Get pregnant and have a baby Bridget was born 6/6/09
15. Have a party with more than 6 people in attendance
16. Landscape the backyard
17. Attend a new church
18. Feel comfortable with myself at the beach or by a pool
Go tent camping completed 9/20/08
20. Knit a pair of socks
21. Knit a sweater
22. Learn to knit cables
23. See a show on Broadway
24. Go to the ballet
25. Exercise 3x/week for at least one month
26. Go to the Gilroy Garlic Festival
27. Do a wine tour
28. Visit the Smithsonian
29. Audition for a show
30. Take an ASL class
31. Make a scrapbook
32. Build a sandcastle
Try a new fruit or veggie Two new melons- Orange Flesh and Chinese
34. Try at least three new types of cuisine
35. Read at least 10 more books from the book list
36. Sing karaoke
37. Draw on the sidewalk with chalk
38. Do cartwheels in the park
39. Swing on the swings
40. Get a tarot reading
41. Make a piece of jewelry
Volunteer somewhere Foster and worked Pug-O-Rama for SNPR October 08
45. Get professional pics taken again
46. Make a house cleaning schedule/plan
47. Follow the plan for at least one month
Change my name with the school district
Renew teaching licence
50. Get stocking pattern from Annie
51. Learn to make stockings
52. Blog everyday for one monthstarted Nov
53. Learn to crochet something cool
54. Frame my degree and teaching licence
55. Bring bags of clothes to donation bins
56. Get a stamp for classroom books
57. Organize classroom with bins and labels
58. Be more consistant with lesson planning
59. Make holiday binders
60. Cook 10 new recipes
61. Bake bread
62. Read a non-fiction book
Apply for a grant Done! 9/3/08
64. Learn CPR
65. Have a picnic in the park
66. Take a walk in the rain
67. Find/create a tattoo design
68. Go to Midnight Mass
Carve a pumpkin Halloween 09!
70. Dye easter eggs
71. Get a new jewelry box and organize jewelry
72. Send out holiday cards by Dec. 5th
73. Attend a sporting event (pro or semi-pro)
74. Subscribe to 2 magazines
75. Reduce debt by 30% (excluding mortgage)
76. Get a pedicure
77. Get a facial
78. Send a secret in to PostSecret
79. Learn to drive a stick shift
80. Build a snowman
81. Make a snowangel
82. Bake a pie from scratch
83. Go to the Utah Shakespearean Festival
84. Go to the Bellagio Conservatory each time they change the exhibit
85. Eat at four new (to me) restaurants in town
86. Go fruit picking
See a movie in IMAX Done! Dark Knight was great. :)
88. Go horseback riding
89. Take a cooking class
90. Organize the pantry
Start a new family tradition Mike and I have starting having a family breakfast and going to the library every Sunday morning.
92. Follow weight watchers every day for at least one month
93. Do a 26 things project
94. Participate in Show and Tell
95. Eat only home prepared meals for two weeks
96. Plant and keep alive an herb garden (can be potted)
Hang storage shelves in garage Done!
98. Get a new couch
99. Take the dog for a walk every day for a month
100. Have a game night with friends
Have a class pet Bruise the Beta is very content :)
Wish me luck! I'll keep this updated as I go. I'll probably put it in my sidebar as well.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Thinking along these lines, Mel and her crew at Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters came up with wonderful idea for an infertility "secret handshake" so that we could identify and be happy for one another. (Not that I'm not happy for all of the easily pregnant women out there. I would never wish for those who breeze through baby making to deal with the pain some of us deal with. It just stings when they're so whiney and condecending toward me.) Here's a copy/paste from Mel's Blog about the Common Thread Bracelet.
For anyone who has experienced infertility or who is currently experiencing infertility. For anyone who has suffered through pregnancy loss. For those who have conceived naturally, utilized treatments, adopted, used third-party reproduction, or chose to live child-free: a movement.
It all began when Paz lamented that there should be a secret handshake for those who have experienced or are currently experiencing infertility. She was finally pregnant after multiple miscarriages and she wanted infertile women to know when looking at her pregnant belly that she was one of them still--in heart and mind. She was open to questions and to passing along any information she had obtained along the way.This led to a lengthy discussion about a signal we could give one another as well as a tangible object that would invite questions and subsequently discussion about infertility. The conversation jumped from idea to idea--a pomegranate-shaped charm, a Livestrong-esque bracelet--until it finally settled on a simple thread.
With the idea being that it was an item that was easy to obtain no matter where you lived. It posed a minimal cost. It could be ornamented or braided any way the wearer chose. It could be sent through the mail. It was simple. It was discreet. We picked the embroidery floss #814 because it was the colour of pomegranates. Which was one of the fertility symbols considered along the way.
Royalyne stepped forward and got the ball rolling with a write up that we tweaked until it became this statement:
Pomegranates, a longstanding symbol of fertility, serve as a strong analogy to those suffering through infertility. Though each pomegranate skin is unique in colour and texture, the seeds inside are remarkably similar from fruit to fruit. Though our diagnosis is unique—endometriosis, low sperm count, luteal phase defect, or causes unknown—the emotions, those seeds on the inside, are the same from person to person. Infertility creates frustration, anger, depression, guilt, and loneliness. Compounding these emotions is the shame that drives people suffering from infertility to retreat into silence.
In addition, the seeds represent the multitude of ways one can build their family: natural conception, treatments, adoption, third-party reproduction, or even choosing to live child-free.The pomegranate thread holds a two-fold purpose: to identify and create community between those experiencing infertility as well as create a starting point for a conversation. Women pregnant through A.R.T., families created through adoption, or couples trying to conceive during infertility can wear the thread, identifying themselves to others in this silent community. At the same time, the string serves as a gateway to conversations about infertility when people inquire about its purpose. These conversations are imperative if we are ever to remove the social stigma attached to infertility.Tie on the thread because you’re not alone. Wear to make aware.
Join us in starting this conversation about infertility by purchasing this pomegranate-coloured thread (#814 by DMC) at any craft, knitting, or variety store such as Walmart or Target. Tie it on your right wrist. Notice it on others.
So, I got my bracelet today. My friend Jacki (yet another person I have met throughout this struggle) made it and sent it to me. I immediately tied it on and am hoping to start noticing it on others as well. Thanks Jacki.
cd18=CBEFM still high. Can we just get this show on the road already?!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Fertility news cd17=high still on CBEFM. Provera continues.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I really was thinking we weren't going to make it though. Thank god I have the greatest mom ever and she helped us out. As always. She's awesome. So, Merry Christmas in July to us!
It's really lightened up my mood to have this to look forward to. My brain just seems to be in a better place knowing that in a week, I'll be someplace that's green. And much cooler (literally). With water nearby. And really great friends. And a baby. Yaaay. I'm finally going to get to meet our Sarah and Zap's baby. For whatever reason, I'm really looking forward to that. Weird being that most other babies I see gives me a sadness attack. Maybe it's because I've known about Delaney from the beginning? Well, whatever, I can't wait to get up there.
Fertility news stands the same. cd16=high on CBEFM. I started the Provera again yesterday. This all seems so routine now that I just can't seem to get myself at all excited that we're actully trying to make a baby. My brain just says "uh huh. we're doing this again. nothing new." I think Einstein's quote just about sums it up - “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." But who knows, maybe our insanity will pay off this month.
And now, I'm off to get books from the library. I'm blowing through Janet Evanovich books like crazy. I've read the first six Stephanie Plum books in the past 4 days. Now, hopefully seven and eight are on hold for me at the library. I'm having withdrawls. Haha. This is *almost* as bad as Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series (anyone else holding their breath for August 2nd?). At least Janet Evanovich books were written for "grown ups." ;)
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
The average adult has read only 6 of the following books! So here’s the list.
The books I have read are in color; the italicized ones I have started but never finished (gee, that's a lot of books). Pass it on!!! :)
1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible (really, has anyone truly READ this from cover to cover?)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare (I've read a lot of them, but I don't like the histories)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (ugh. HATED this book)
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
37. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
38. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
39. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
40. Animal Farm - George Orwell
41. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
42. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
43. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
44. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
45. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
46. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
47. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
48. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
49. Atonement - Ian McEwan
50. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
51. Dune - Frank Herbert
52. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
53. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
54. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
55. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
56. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
57. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
58. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
59. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
60. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
61. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
62. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
63. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
64. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
65. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
66. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
67. Bridget Jones’ Diary - Helen Fielding
68. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
69. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
70. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
71. Dracula - Bram Stoker
72. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
73. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
74. Ulysses - James Joyce (I don't think it's possible to finish this book. Unless you're looking to rebuild Dublin)
75. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
76. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
77. Germinal - Emile Zola
78. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
79. Possession - AS Byatt
80. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
81. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
82. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
83. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
84. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
85. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
86. Charlotte’s Web - EB White
87. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
88. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
89. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
90. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
91. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
92. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
93. Watership Down - Richard Adams
94. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
95. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
96. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
97. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
98. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Hey, I'm above average! 24's not too bad. I think with all the ones I started, they could count as a few more. And the Harry Potter series is really seven books. So, my tally is higher. Haha!
What about you? I know Duck is going to blow me out of the water on this one. I suppose it's allowed when you're getting a masters in English Lit or whatever. ;)
And in case anyone is keeping tabs, cd14=high on CBEFM and my results are not back in from the lab yet. The nurse just called me back and said I'd have to wait until FRIDAY!!! and then she'd call me with the results. Can I just state for the record that I am not a patient person? Well, even if you said no, I'm stating it. I am not a patient person!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Me. Note the cute 4th shirt. It says "lifelibertyhappiness"We got to the park when the gates opened at 4:30. The show wasn't set to start until 8. (I neglected to tell Mike this little fact. I wanted a good spot!) We had packed a cooler full of snacks and drinks. We brought a blanket and low backed chairs. We were set.
The Umbrella Cocoon
And watched this little guy.
He kinda broke my heart and made my uterus do little flips. He was so dang cute. And he must have been around music his entire little life so far because the kid had rhythm. He conducted his little heart out with his flag (you can barely see it in the pic because he was waving it around). And when I say he conducted, he really did. He was on beat and everything. Then, when the song was over, he would take the biggest and most dramatic bow you've ever seen. It was amazing.
(In the above picture, does anyone else think it looks like the Phil is being swallowed by a whale? Because let me tell you, that's all I could think about while the lighting was like that.) The music was, of course, great. Lots of patriotic music (duh). They did a tribute to the armed forces where they played all of the branches songs and had people stand if they'd been in that service. Mike got to stand for the Army. as he pointed out, he was the youngest one standing my at least 2 generations. But he got kinda teary all the same. They even had a broadway guy come in and sing four songs. Hooray!! And to the list of things I love Broadway showtunes. This just gets better and better. And then, there were FIREWORKS!!! Yaaaay!!!!
(Oh and the free photo software I found is picnik. It's totally free and really, really easy to use. I LOVE it!!!
(In completely unrelated news, it's cd13 and I got a high on my CBEFM! w00t! And I'll be caling the doctors office today to hopefully get the results of the bloodwork.)
Friday, July 4, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
- blood work (ugh)
- return books to library (not done because I decided to recheck them out and actually make some of the recipes)
- go to school and get keys - possibly go to room and put things away (highly unlikely)
- call Jules and offer sushi for lunch
- go to Target (if everything else on the list is done, get a new shirt for the 4th) - They didn't have any shirts for the 4th, so I got a new kitchen rug instead. ;)
- load dishwasher (very important as it feels like almost every cup I own is sitting on the coffee table in my loft)
Edit: Everything in italics I finished. I even got in and got my brows waxed. Yaaay!! I'll get to the dishwasher tonight. Mike called and said he wanted to go to a movie tonight and he'll do the dishes when we get home. Even more Yaaaaaayyy!!! I'm feeling very accomplished and should be able to get my bloodwork results next week.
Edit again: Mike came home early and immediately did all the dishes and loaded the dishwasher! Yippie Chi ;) Now on to the movies...
In fertility news, it is cd9 (cycle day 9) and so far, everything's normal. I had a regular 4 day period (although is was very light) and the CBEFM has asked for sticks the past 3 days. All "low" which is good. Hopefully I'll start getting highs on cd11 or so and my peaks on cd14ish. That would be great. Alas, as Mike points out, "Honey, your body just doesn't work like that." *sigh* I know.