Monday, October 20, 2008

So scared

So, Saturday night I couldn't sleep due to major stomach pain. It felt almost like food poisoning. I wasn't worried that it was the pregnancy because it wasn't in the right area. Much higher than where the baby is growing. Anyway, I ended up tossing and turning in bed until 3:00 in the morning and then got up to find something to do. I wound up in front of the computer doing random surfing. Looked up stomach pain in pregnancy and couldn't find anything that really fit my symptoms. At about 5:30, I fell asleep on the couch and slept fitfully until about 7:30. I was feeling better. ::sigh of relief:: I went about my day trying to tak it as lightly as possible. I had promised to help the pug rescue get raffle baskets together, so I went over there for a few hours and we got it done. Hooray for accomplishments.

Sunday night, I went to the bathroom and saw some pink on the TP. It was a bit brighter than anything I've had before but I wasn't too worried. I told Mike just so he would be informed. Any other time I've had this, it's been gone again the next time I go to the bathroom. It wasn't this time. The next time I went to the bathroom, there was still pink and a very small clot was in the toilet. My heart sank. Clots are not good. I tried to stay calm but it was useless.

I came out to Mike and told him I might be losing the baby. I explained what was going on and started crying. I can't help it. The huge fear of another miscarriage is taking over my brain.

I had another fitful night of sleep and my stomach is in nervous knots. I'm trying to breathe and calm myself down. I know my blood pressure is off the charts. ::breathes deeply::

There has been no more spotting or clots so far this morning. Unfortunately, I have to go to work today. I wish I could stay home and put myself on bedrest for the day. I'll just feel much better if I can get through the day without anything else happening.

Please say a little prayer or send a thought our way. Please stick little one.

***update*** I called the doctor's office this afternoon. After dealing with their normal phone rediculousness, the nurse basically told be everything is normal. Since the spotting has stopped and the cramping wasn't doubling me over, she said I'm fine. I'm still worried. Last time I had no cramping at all and the spotting was never a "period like flow." It does make me fell better though that there hasn't been any further spotting or cramping. Now I'm just hoping I can live through the next week until the u/s. ::breathe::


Sarah R. said...

oh Kate..we'll be thinking good sticky thoughts. You really do need to call you doctor (or maybe one of those new ones you are considering). Hopefully they can get you in and help your fears. we love you and will do anything we can to help.

Conflicted Dreams said...

Have you called the doctor? I will be thinking of you today and sending pregoo sticky vibes out west...

Rachel Kerns said...

Sweet sweet Kate. You don't deserve to go through any of this. I agree with the other ladies though... you really do need to call the doctor. This is a time to enjoy and cherish and I am sending you the best sticky thoughts I can along with some big hugs. Please keep us posted.

Amanda said...

Kate, I'm so sorry I missed this yesterday! I'm thinking of you. When's your next appointment? I'm sure everything is just fine, but it is extremely scary. Try to take it as easy as possible.

v said...

It was fabulous talking to you tonight. Like I said, sometimes I feel like I've talked to someone because of the wonders of the interweb.

Also, thanks for mentioning the blog. I usually don't click on others' blogrolls, because I have about fifty (give or...well give) in my queue, but I decided to check out i am bossy. I believe I'll keep reading it.

Have a good day at school tomorrow.