Sunday, November 30, 2008

Warning: Rambling ahead!

So, my friend Duck posted a blog today that got me thinking. This started out as a comment to her, but I thought is was worthy enough to share here and I had more thoughts to add.

This whole blogosphere thing is so strange when I really stop to think about it. I read so many blogs and I feel that I truly know and understand these women (I read mostly female blogs. Mostly dealing infertility). Some of them I wonder if I have ever even commented on. They don't even know I'm out there, living their story along with them. Sometimes I feel awkward. Should I let them know I'm here? A complete stranger. Laughing and crying, hoping and feeling bitter with them. Or would it be scary to think that some strange person knows their trials and tribulations?

When I first started blogging, and finding new blogs, I came across one that I followed for awhile. I commented now and then. One day, the girl commented back. She said, "Thanks, but how did you find my blog?" I was embarrased. I felt like maybe I'd been intruding. And I honestly couldn't remember how I'd found her blog. Probably through the random clicking on someone else's blog list. Either way, I never went back to that blog. I erased the link. Probably not what she meant at all, but I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Since then, I've been much more reserved in my commenting. I know that I LOVE comments, but maybe others really just want to use this space as a place to journal and maybe keep in touch with family and friends. And I try to respect that.

Not all are strangers though. Some I have established a relationship with. Whether through blogs or message boards, there are women I have never really met that I now think of as "friends." People that have shown so much support and joy and sorrow to a complete stranger. I don't even know if they realize how much it all has meant. I wonder if we will ever truly meet. Ever really "talk" to each other. Would we get along as well in reality as we do in the anonymity of the internet?

Do any of you have these thoughts? Do you comment away? Or do you do a lot of lurking like me? If you're a lurker here, please feel free to comment me. I promise I will try not to scare you off. :)

9 comments:

v said...

Hi! So, not a lurker, of course. Thanks for the comment and I love this post. I know exactly how you feel. I try to comment often. I'm trying to do so more, but I know how you feel about commenting on a blog kept by someone you/I might not know. I still try to comment, because I figure that blogs are public and if comments are on, I'll go ahead and comment. I like the community aspect of blogging, so I like when people comment on my blog. Well, must go read.

Shanny said...

I guess I'm both. I lurke and I comment. Sometimes I'm affraid it can be stalker-ish lol

I've had someone ask me how I found their blog also andd it is embarrasing. But I enjoy reading and commenting on blogs. I truly feel an attachment, I get sad when my bloggers are sad and genuinly happy when things are good for them.

~Great post~

Katie said...

I am also a bit of both. I mainly read my blogs in bloglines, so I'm not even sure it shows up on people's counts. I think the blogging community is so great because you have a whole support group at your finger tips. Whenever I comment on a new blog, I usually say how I ended up there. Most of mine came from Stirrup Queens blogroll or from nacomleavmo. Then again, there are some I have no idea how I came across

Kandace said...

Sorry to say I am a lurker....I feel wierd commenting on someone's blog I dont know. I came across your blog when my husband and I were TTC. I am now pregnant too, due exactly 5 weeks after you. Congratulations!!

kate said...

Congrats to you too Kandace! I came across most of the blogs I read through Stirrup Queens as well Katie. As well as wanderings while we were TTC.

v said...

Hey, (totally disturbing) baby shower idea!

As for grad school, start the application process early and have someone read over your materials at least once. Yeah, that's the advice I've heard about a billion times and I'm honestly working on it, but it is still a LOT of crap to do and I'm still overwhelmed. Give me six weeks, though, and it'll all be over...except the waiting (which, y'know, is the hardest part).

Rach said...

I always try to comment on the blogs I read (except for a couple of women who seem to attack their commenters with which I say, "Then don't open your blog up to comments if you are only going to berate your readers... I mean, you DO realize that your blog is public right???) although a lot of the women don't comment back. I think I have more lurkers than I lurk. :)

I have loved your comments and have enjoyed sharing our stories. It always makes me smile when you chime in, so thanks. Maybe one day we'll have a play date with the kids and finally give each other all those virtual hugs for real.

v said...

Ha! I just realized that I left no address with my above comment. So, onto the disturbing baby shower thing...

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/12/fetal-bites.html

PregnantPeeper said...

I read blogs all the time and don't comment. However, when I go back to look at my blog and no comments are there I assume nobody is reading it. I posted this once and several nesties responded that they followed my blog all the time. Maybe I should comment more to break the ice? I assume I'm just not that interesting...I did get scolded by a stranger for taking clomid. That was weird.