Monday, August 11, 2008

Not in the mood

This is my excuse way too often. Or "I'll get to it tomorrow." And then, "It can wait another week."

Ugh. I've just been in a funk for the past, well, at least a week or more. The start of school is rapidly approaching and I have done nothing in my new classroom. I'm really sick of myself for being the HUGE procrastinator that I am. I had a whole summer to get stuff done and I got NOTHING done. Nothing on my house and nothing for school. No copies made. No plans written. Nothing decorated or reorganized. I acknowledge that this is a part of me I don't like and yet I do nothing about it. Why is that?

Other random life news: I'm going camping on Wednesday. I'm going to be hanging out on the beach on San Diego for five days. Should be very nice. Hopefully, I'll be able to relax. I'm highly doubting it though because of all he crap running through my mind. I'm pretty sure this will rule out the possibility of getting pregnant this month though because Mike's not coming with me and I *should* ovulate during the time I'm gone. Just my luck that when I finally get a plan, my body decides to screw up the timing. Ugh. But, the thought of being on the beach and not really needig to concern myself with anything kinda makes me say "Eh, it's already been 17 months. What's one more month in the big scheme of things?" (I say this in between the moments of "But what if this is your month?" Stupid doubt/hope. Always nagging.)
Fertility news: My system is finally adjusting to the metformin. I'm now taking the provera as well. Plus, my prenatal vitamin. I take them all at the same time and feel like a crazy person with my pill regimen. 4 frickin pills every night. God forbid I start Clomid. Ugh. I just want to be a "normal" person and be able to get pregnant by having sex. It happened once for me. Why not again? I don't understand.

Sorry to dump on you guys but I was feeling guilty for not blogging for so long and I didn't want this to add to the list of things I procrastinate on. *sigh*

4 comments:

R said...

I am sure you are tired of hearing "hang in there," but I do hope you feel better. San Diego is such a nice place to relax and take in the sun and fresh beach air. Enjoy your time away and remember to take deep breaths.

JenM said...

Ugh. I'm sorry. I feel you on the drugs. It could be worse, you could have asthma. Between my regular drugs and the IVF drugs I feel like I should have one of those old people boxes with the slots for different drugs at different times of day.

JenM said...

Okay, just popping back in to say Tag! It will give you something else to think about :-)

babymakin101 said...

Hey chica! Don't feel bad...I am teaching a new grade completely & starting in a weekd & a half & haven't done ANY planning. It is so hard to get motivated! Especially when you have other more important things on your mind, like babymakin!!!

I agree...wouldn't it be nice to have a nice romp in the sack and a few weeks later, find out your pregnant...I wish!

take care!