I have found a way back to you!

Hooray!!! I apologize so much for the long silence. Blame this as Mike has been playing it just about every night since he got it for Christmas. And I know that If I mentioned that I wanted to get on the computer, he would get off without an argument, but I feel bad. I just want my laptop to work again!

Anyways, internet, HELLO! Apparently blogger is not banned by the school district's communist internet blockingness. Yaay! So I am updating from school. This unfortunately means that I can't post any pictures. And I have some great ones from our trip to Phoenix while we visited Mike's family.

AlthoughI was worried about it, the visit was actually pretty good. My favorite part: We went to the Desert Botanical Gardens and saw the Chihuly exhibit. It was absolutely amazing! The things that man creates are awe inspiring.

I also got a great video monitor and a breast pump from Mike's mom for Christmas. So yaaay! Two big items out of the way already. I was so excited when I opened the monitor. I think Mike thought I was nuts. Haha.

In other pregnancy news, our Big Ultrasound is tomorrow. ::deep breath:: I keep having slight panic attacks. I know that in all likelyhood, everything is fine. But the "what if's" are getting to me. I don't know how to stop them either. So I just keep taking deep breaths and trying to calm down. It's working less and less. I wish that I had taken the entire day off tomorrow and not just the afternoon. I don't know how great a teacher I'll be what with the anticipation and anxiety. Oh well, the kids will survive one half day with a crazy teacher. Oh wait, they do that every day.

And since some of you are probably asking the same thing EVERYONE has asked us, we will find out the sex of the baby if a good oportunity presents itself. If there is no doubt about what the baby is, we want to know. If the u/s tech can't get a great shot, we're not worried about it. So, wish us luck tomorrow that all is well and good and that we will (or won't depending on your preference) know which team the baby will be on.

And as a parting question: What do you think is in there? I've been thinking boy from the beginning and Mike's been all about team pink. He's so confident that he's got me wondering and now I'm all confused. Everyone else that we've talked to thinks boy but is hoping for girl. What's your thought?

(Sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors. I'm not going back to edit this as the bell is going to ring very soon and I still have stuff to get done around this classroom.)

Not in the mood

This is my excuse way too often. Or "I'll get to it tomorrow." And then, "It can wait another week."

Ugh. I've just been in a funk for the past, well, at least a week or more. The start of school is rapidly approaching and I have done nothing in my new classroom. I'm really sick of myself for being the HUGE procrastinator that I am. I had a whole summer to get stuff done and I got NOTHING done. Nothing on my house and nothing for school. No copies made. No plans written. Nothing decorated or reorganized. I acknowledge that this is a part of me I don't like and yet I do nothing about it. Why is that?

Other random life news: I'm going camping on Wednesday. I'm going to be hanging out on the beach on San Diego for five days. Should be very nice. Hopefully, I'll be able to relax. I'm highly doubting it though because of all he crap running through my mind. I'm pretty sure this will rule out the possibility of getting pregnant this month though because Mike's not coming with me and I *should* ovulate during the time I'm gone. Just my luck that when I finally get a plan, my body decides to screw up the timing. Ugh. But, the thought of being on the beach and not really needig to concern myself with anything kinda makes me say "Eh, it's already been 17 months. What's one more month in the big scheme of things?" (I say this in between the moments of "But what if this is your month?" Stupid doubt/hope. Always nagging.)

Fertility news: My system is finally adjusting to the metformin. I'm now taking the provera as well. Plus, my prenatal vitamin. I take them all at the same time and feel like a crazy person with my pill regimen. 4 frickin pills every night. God forbid I start Clomid. Ugh. I just want to be a "normal" person and be able to get pregnant by having sex. It happened once for me. Why not again? I don't understand.

Sorry to dump on you guys but I was feeling guilty for not blogging for so long and I didn't want this to add to the list of things I procrastinate on. *sigh*

quick note

Sorry it's been a few days. I'm up here in Washington State visiting friends and getting my baby fix. I'll update with a full story when we get home.

Other updates: Reynee is being adopted (or may possibly already be with her new forever family), I got my stupid insulin done but haven't heard back the results, and it's cd27 and I'm at low (finally) on the CBEFM. Yet another month down the drain.

Oh, and I found out that "U-Dub" has a library masters. Now I've just got to look into it and see if it's a good fit for me (and if it's even a possibility for me to get in).

Fresh air!

I'll be getting some! I just booked flight for Mike and I to go visit our friends in Washington state. I've been looking forward to this trip since, oh, I last went up to visit them in February. I absolutely LOVE IT up there and am hoping that Mike will love it too. I'm pretty sure he will.

I really was thinking we weren't going to make it though. Thank god I have the greatest mom ever and she helped us out. As always. She's awesome. So, Merry Christmas in July to us!

It's really lightened up my mood to have this to look forward to. My brain just seems to be in a better place knowing that in a week, I'll be someplace that's green. And much cooler (literally). With water nearby. And really great friends. And a baby. Yaaay. I'm finally going to get to meet our Sarah and Zap's baby. For whatever reason, I'm really looking forward to that. Weird being that most other babies I see gives me a sadness attack. Maybe it's because I've known about Delaney from the beginning? Well, whatever, I can't wait to get up there.

Fertility news stands the same. cd16=high on CBEFM. I started the Provera again yesterday. This all seems so routine now that I just can't seem to get myself at all excited that we're actully trying to make a baby. My brain just says "uh huh. we're doing this again. nothing new." I think Einstein's quote just about sums it up - “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." But who knows, maybe our insanity will pay off this month.

And now, I'm off to get books from the library. I'm blowing through Janet Evanovich books like crazy. I've read the first six Stephanie Plum books in the past 4 days. Now, hopefully seven and eight are on hold for me at the library. I'm having withdrawls. Haha. This is *almost* as bad as Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series (anyone else holding their breath for August 2nd?). At least Janet Evanovich books were written for "grown ups." ;)