Bridget and the Fish

So, at Thanksgiving time we visited Mike's family near Phoenix. About five minutes from their home is a wildlife zoo which recently added an aquarium section. We decided that it would be a great family outing and off we went with Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt Sabrina and Uncle Brandon.

We got to see all sorts of fun stuff. Bridget was much more interested in the aquarium section than the zoo section.



She liked watching the penguins dive and swim (really, who doesn't?) but her favorite thing of all was this little fish. She just stared at it and very contentedly watched it swim back and forth in its little home.



The sound on the video is horrible because there were so many people around, but you can hear Uncle Brandon in the background being so excited about Bridget enjoying herself. This video was taken after we had already been standing watching the fish for several minutes.

I think we need to get Bridget a fish tank, what do you think? :)

Guess who's back!

Yep. It's the Sophie! I would show pictures if I could get my camera to cooperate. She's home. She's absolutely filthy, but she's home. It took Mike and I both to get her in the house. She was skittish and didn't want to be caught. But then the first thing she did when she got in the house was run to her catnip scratcher, lay on it, and scratch to her hearts content. Then she flopped on the floor and slept. Hard core cat sleeping. Like, so hard that even the pug snuffling in her face didn't bug her. I don't think she slept well out in "the wild."
I'm so glad she's home. Now to get her a bath...

She's gone

Still no Sophie. She must have snuck out last night as Mike came in the door. We've searched high and low in the house and haven't seen anything. So tonight we made posters and hung them up. I asked neighbors to keep an eye out. We're going to call the pound tomorrow just to cover all bases. We put food and water out front in hopes that she'll find her way back to us. Please keep us in your thoughts and hope for the best. I know it may seem silly to some, but she's part of our family and she's missing. Mike and I are both depressed and struggling with this. I've never had a pet go missing and I'm so upset even at the thought of not having her here anymore.

Fail!

I completely lose in the posting every day category. I fell asleep on the couch last night and then went to bed. I woke up suddenly at 3:30 this morning and realized I hadn't posted. FAIL! Oh well, back on track now I suppose.

So, Sophie is MIA right now. Sophie is our cat. She doesn't get much face time here. Maybe that's why she's hiding. Either way, Mike's really worried and I must admit I'm a little concerned as well. We spent about 45 minutes shaking treats and toys around the house and opening up every door and cabinet we could. No Soph anywhere. I'm sure she'll somehow appear tonight. Sophie is a champ at hiding and she's done this to us a few times but it's been a couple of years since she hid this well. However, there's that teeny, tiny, nagging feeling in the back of my mind wondering if somehow she got outside. We searched front and back and didn't see her but maybe she wandered? Now I'm more worried. *sigh* I'll update tomorrow.

In brighter news, Bridget will be 5 months tomorrow. Holy cow.

Um, yeah, I guess

So, Halloween is also Nevada Day. Yes, this great state I live in was "born" on October 31st. The great thing about this is that I don't have to work on the last Friday of October. Yahoo! This year, that day fell on the day before Halloween so of course, all the kids were super excited (as was I).

Anyway, to try to get them to understand that we don't have HALLOWEEN off but NEVADA DAY, we study about our state symbols.

We learn about:

The state tree: The pinion pine for those not in the know.


Our state bird: The mountain bluebird

Our amazing state "flower": Sagebrush (just so you all know, this is what dries up and becomes tumbleweeds. Fabulous.)

And finally, our state animal: The Desert Bighorn Sheep.

It's this last one that is the subject of today's post (took me long enough to get to the point, eh?) So, we're reading our story in our small group and we get to the bighorn sheep page. We read the little blurb about the sheep and look at the picture. One of my kids gets all excited and calls out "Oooooh, like a Dodge!" ??? Then it connects. He has connected the ram horns with a Dodge Ram truck.

Score another one for Consumer America. *sigh*

I couldn't do anything but smile and say "yep."

Not sure where to go from here

So, it's November and I'm going to try to make this my month of posting every day. Don't know if it will happen, but it's on my list so, I figure why not start now?
Here's my problem: I don't know where to go from here. This started out as a blog about me and my infertile bitterness and struggle to become a mommy. While I still consider myself to be in the infertile and pregnancy loss family, I have been able to go on to the successful side (where I hope to see so many others soon). I don't want to alienate my fellow IFers with non-stop talk of baby, but that's kinda my life now. I struggled to get her for so long (not as long or as hard as some others, but plenty for me) and I want to document her life. I don't want this to turn completely into a "mommy blog" either though. So where to go from here?
I have a feeling it will run mostly along the lines of baby mixed with some anecdotes about things happening at work and randomness that I note from day to day. Pretty boring but things I like to share, ya know?
So, to all of my IF friends, I apologize in advance and understand if you need to stop following (although I hope you won't). I will keep following along with your journeys and wishing you the best, as always.
For my non-IF friends, I hope you'll continue to hang out even when I'm not the most amazing person to read (as if I ever was huh?). In general, I hope to be keeping in touch more with the blogosphere and I hope to hear from you guys too! Oh, and here's a picture of Bridget because I can.

From her 4 month "photo shoot" which was almost a month ago already. HOLY COW where does the time go?

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween all! I love this holiday and was so excited to share it with Bridget for the first time. Here's some pictures from the past few days of fun with our little family.

We visited the pumpkin patch and got some great pictures. Bridget's able to sit on her own against things so we propped her up and went to town. :)

She was a ladybug for Halloween. This was at our Trunk-or-Treat. See her little barrette? Yeah, Mommy is a sucker for cute hair things. Who wouldn't be with a baby with hair as awesome as Bridget's? Haha.

Hanging around the house today I had her dressed as a ballerina. Aren't those the cutest little shoes?!I think she's practicing. She looks so perfect and girly in this picture.

And then the fun begins! We (and by we I mean Mike) hollowed out the pumpkin and we gave Bridget the "guts" to play with. She wasn't quite sure what to do except try to eat them. It was pretty funny.

Out tonight passing out candy. We didn't actually take her out Trick-or-Treating because, well, she doesn't eat candy and lord knows Mike and I don't need any. ;) So we just dressed her up and sat in front of the house talking with our neighbors and passing out candy. It was a great night.

And finally, here's our pumpkin. Mike was VERY proud of it. I think it's pretty good too. All in all, a great first Halloween. Here's to many more to come.

It hasn't stopped!

Apparently the water at my school is still magic pregnancy water. I thought everyone that wanted to/could have kids got pregnant last year. You would think that 9 babies in a year would be enough, but noooooooooo. There are two more already this year! One of them is the teacher that teaches next door to me. We were pregnant together LAST YEAR! Her baby was born in February and now she's pregnant again and due in April. YIKES I say. Although she wanted them very close together, so she's happy with it.
Anyone out there want me to send them some water? ;) I personally am avoiding it. I don't want to miss a minute of time with my little one.

One year ago today

I woke up, peed on a stick, and my whole life changed. I went from being an infertile woman, trying and trying and trying for a baby, only to have my heart broken each month, to a pregnant woman. The fears and joys that came along with the journey changed me forever. I still think about the baby we lost every night. I whisper to Bridget as I put her down "Goodnight sweet baby. You're safe and happy. The angels will watch over you and I'll see you in the morning when the sun wakes up." I picture all the sweet lost babies of friends in the PL/IF world looking in on her and making sure she's ok. Especially her little lost sibling. It brings some peace to my heart. And it makes me so thankful to have this sweet little baby in my life. I couldn't ask for anything more.

New and improved

Well, upgraded at least. Mike got together with my mom and his mom and got me a new laptop! Hooray!!!! No more problems charging the battery, suddenly quitting and losing everything. No more fear of things getting lost and not being found again. I love it! So, I should be able to post again on a regular basis. I'll shoot for October being my month to post every day. ::fingers crossed:: that nothing happens.

We're good to go

**I apologize in advance for the TMI nature of this post. Feel free to skip to the next set of stars if you don't want to read about my girly stuff**

So, I am officially using birth control again. This is extremely weird as I haven't taken any birth control since before I got married. I stopped taking my pills about 3 month before we got married and never started them again. We used condoms for the first year and then started trying for a baby. So there has been no form of birth control used in this family for more than two years! And yet there's only one Bridget. That's what IF will do to ya folks.

Anywho, on to the BC. I react VERY badly to the pill. The adjustment to the hormones is truly frightening. I turn into an absolute monster and cannot control my emotions. I yell and scream at Mike for the tiniest things (ex: squeezing the toothpaste from the middle) and I cannot stop myself. For this reason, neither one of us was too keen on me going on the pill again. Everyone says that breastfeeding is a natural form of BC. Well, that may be true but I just can't trust it. Especially since I'm not exclusively breastfeeding. I definitely don't want an "oops" baby.

With all of this in mind, I talked to the doctor and we decided on Mir.ena. I really like the fact that it will last for 5 years and I don't have to remember anything (except to get it removed in five years!) There's no hormone adjustment period and the side effects are pretty mild (some cramping and bleeding for a bit.) It took about 2 minutes to "install" (although I waited for an hour and half past my appointment time to be seen but that's another story). And now, I'm all set. No more babies here!

Which again, is a strange thing. For so long, all that consumed every thought was getting pregnant. The timing, the CBEFM, the peeing on sticks, the disappointment, etc... And now I'm back to being a "normal" person who actually worries about sex leading to a baby. ::eye roll::

**It's safe now**

Look at the cute Bridget in her swing!


:)

The damn dog!

Ate my pants! Both of the pairs of maternity pants that I've been wearing are now chewed and unwearable. Arg!!!

A quicky

Quick post before bed.

So our new schedule starts tomorrow. I've gotten so used to driving with Mike in the morning its going to be weird to be without him. I enjoy our bit of time together. I also enjoy not having to drive in traffic. I really don't enjoy driving all that often so Mike always drives to and from work (and pretty much any other time we're in the car together). Now I have to drive alone. Boohiss!

I have to drop Bridget off alone too. No more kisses from Daddy in the mornings at daycare. :( She'll still have Mommy though.

Anyway, it's late and I have to get up in the A.M. 'night all!

What a difference a year makes

I was thinking this morning that last year on this day I was peeing on another stupid CBEFM stick and started jumping for joy when it FINALLY gave me a peak. Yes ladies and gent (I believe there's only one of you reading this), last year little eggy Bridget was released to make the trek down to her squishy little 9 month home inside of me.

And now look at her. Playing outside in this big wide world!

La la la la laaaaaaaaa!

We went to a Music Together baby class this morning and had so much fun! We danced and sang and played with instruments. Bridget loved the maracas and kept using it like a little microphone. It was too cute. And now we'll be going to baby music class every Saturday and I'm so excited.

Then we got to go have sushi for the first time since, well, about this time last year. Yaaaaaay! Yummy, yummy, yummy!

Screaming orgasm. Just what everyone needs on their birthday. Hahah!

Enjoying my spicy crab hand roll. Mmmmmmmm. Seriously, so happy to have sushi again!

It was a great birthday. I can't remember one I have enjoyed so much. Here's to hoping for a great upcoming year!

New beginnings

**Sorry I missed posting yesterday. I was so trying to post every day this month. Leave it to fate to screw with my plans. My laptop decided to die. I think Mike has revived it for a short time but if I go missing again, my laptop is probably dead beyond repair.**

BIG NEWS!! After more than a year of working at a job he HATED, Mike's last day of work was today. He starts his new job on Monday and both of us are really looking forward to it. Not only will it be a much less stressful job, it will be better pay and a reliable paycheck.

Up to now, he's been working in a small business with very few employees and things have just gotten worse and worse in the three years he's been there. Mike finally got fed up enough and seriously started looking for a new job when he walked into work 5 months ago and they announced that they were cutting everyone's pay by 20%. Yeah. We're just going to take away a day worth of pay each week. Because don't you know that that's just what everyone can handle right now? And it was especially great timing for us being that we were saving up because there was a baby coming. ::sigh:: Then for the past 2 months, payroll hasn't gone through. Which leads to us overdrawing our account and fees and bounced checks and all sorts of other badness. BooHiss!

But now, things will be better! His new job is with the county, so he'll be getting government benefits and he'll only be doing the job of ONE person (where before he had about 5 job descriptions). I'm hoping that this will lead to a but less stressed household around here.

Plus, we just got his truck fixed. It's been down for almost 10 months. It's going to be interesting getting used to having two cars again. What will I do with myself in the mornings now that I won't have to rush around to get him to work in time? I have a few great ideas. Many involve sleeping (which is probably wishful thinking since there's a little person called Bridget :)). They will probably include spending some quality smiley time with my Bridgey in the morning and watching the news again while feeding her.

I have a huge smile just thinking about all of this. ::Warm fuzzies:: Now off to bed. Fresh bamboo sheets call my name (that's a whole other post right there).

Magical mysical powers!

Apparently breastmilk has them. Bridget has had dry patches of skin on her cheeks for weeks now. It feels like excema (I know because I have it). Anyways, I talked to her pedi who gave me the completely useless information of "No lotions on babies under 6 months." Well thanks dude, that helps a lot.

So, I headed to the local crunchy mama store to look for homeopathic remedies or other ideas that could help. The lady at the store asked, "Have you tried breastmilk?" What? Breastmilk? "Umm, what do I do with it? She drinks it but that's about it." She said to squeeze a little out and put it on the rashy spot. Thinking to myself "well, it can't hurt" I went home and tried it. Lo and behold, within a day all traces of the dry spots were gone. Gone I tell you!

"Look Mommy. No Bumps!" Yaaay baby!

Amazing stuff this breastmilk.

What about the rest of the year?

I have 4 different spelling groups in my class. They are differentiated by color. When I was telling students which groups they were in today, I announced that T was in my pink group. He quickly stated:

"You're my March enemy!"

Hahahahahahaha!

Several students caught it and corrected him. I swear, the kids this year have great personalities!

My thighs are lifesavers!

Apparently. According to this, my thighs are keeping me from dying of heart disease and a horrible premature death. Thank god for one good thing about being fat.

So there you go ladies. Smile and be happy about your thighs for a minute or so. You're welcome.

She's growing so fast!

Well, today my baby is 3 months old. It's gone by so quickly. I'm sad to see it fly by, but I'm so happy to watch her grow. It's such a strange feeling. Bridget is meeting all of her milestones at the right times. Her newest tricks are blowing spit bubbles, rolling onto her side (and occasionally rolling all the way from her tummy to her back), and gripping things. The last one being her favorite at the moment.

We went out today and got her some new toys. She can have the 3+ month toys now. Hahhaa! So we picked up a few different rattles and such so try to get her interest. Her favorite is the O Ball (I think that's what it's called). Anyways, it's light and easy to grip and she had a blast with it on the floor today. Witness the gripping!

Yes, she has wrist rattles on too. :) I told you we rattled it up today.

And of course we had to take her 3 month photos. We chose a new location this month and I think we'll take all our pictures here from now on. I like the background better and Bridget can sit up on her own against the cushions. Oh my gosh, she's sitting!



Happy 3 months baby! I'm so happy you're mine. I can't picture my life without you in it.

I'm a party girl!

Ok, I'm ready. Mom bought a new bow for my hair and everything (happy Rach? lol) Where's the party girl?

Today was one of my best friend's 30th birthday. One of her other really good friends and her husband planned a surprise party for her. So, we all got dressed up and headed down to dinner to surprise her. And it was a success! She was so surprised she was crying. Hooray! We had a great time and some pretty good pizza. Yum!

Happy birthday Jamie!

You must be this chubby...

...to wear cloth diapers! Yes, Bridget FINALLY fits into the cloth diapers we bought. I am soooo excited! FLUFFY BUTT!!!

Worst.Morning.Ever.

Ugh.
Started out with a happy, smiley baby that just wanted to be held. She was cooing and smiling and kicking her little legs in happiness. Then I had to put her in her car seat and drive her to the sitter. She just screamed her little lungs out the whole time. This makes for a very sad mommy.

We left the sitter (Mike and I drive together) and got pulled over for "speeding." It's a completely BS ticket and Mike and I are planning to fight it. We were keeping up with traffic AND going the speed limit. In fact, when I called my mom and told her our speed and location, her first words were, "Oh, you got pulled over for going too slow?" Umm, nope. "Were you in a construction zone?" Nope, just an asshole cop.

So we leave that ordeal and continue driving to work (for which Mike is already 20 minutes late). Mike drops me off and I walk to unlock the gate to go into my classroom. OH CRAP! Where is my purse?! I turn to watch it driving off on the top of the car. I'm frantically waving and screaming, hoping Mike will see me. I'm running as fast as possible to catch him while carrying my breast pump bag, my school books, my lunch bag, AND wearing a dress. Lovely.

Sadly, I did not catch him and as I'm walking to the freeway (hoping that it may have fallen off as her turned the corner) I start crying. My camera is in there. My keys are in there. My ID is there. My phone is there. How in the hell am I going to replace all of that? Alas, the purse did not fall off before Mike got on the freeway.

I walked back to school and into the office to call Mike and see if MAYBE it had stayed on the car all through his drive to work. As soon as my principal saw me, she asked what was wrong. I explained though sobs and she dialed Mike's cell for me. Mike answered the phone with "yes." OH THANK GOD! Apparently, he saw and heard it fall off on the freeway and stopped to get it. Yes, people, he stopped to get it. On the freeway. In 7:30 traffic. Thanks be to whoever was watching out for him that he didn't get hit by a car.

He drove back to my work and gave me my purse. Everything was just fine. You would never know it had been on such an adventure. Then, he went to work 40 minutes late. Fabulous.
From that point on, the day was normal if not pretty good. But seriously, I don't think I can handle another day like that for a very long time. No one should have to. ::sigh::

Now I will end my day by giving a smiling Bridget a bath, swaddle her, and send her off to sleepytime. A good ending to a perfectly crappy morning. G'night all.

Are you ready for some?

Today we were discussing seasons. Students were thinking of which one was their favorite and why. Since I've had problems with kids not knowing their seasons, I wanted to clarify what the seasons were. Especially for my non-english speakers. Here's how the conversation went in my classroom...

Me: Ok, who can name one of the seasons?

Student 1: Fall.

Student 2: Snow. (Ummm, that's a type of weather. Let's try again.)

Me: What season were you just out of school for?

Several students: Summer!

Me: OK, so we have Summer and Fall. What's another?

Student 3: FOOTBALL season!

Bwahahahahaha! I couldn't help but laugh.

My child is amazing!

Bridget rolled over today from her tummy to her back. She was apparently very unhappy being on her tummy and used her butt to send herself over. Hahahah! Now we'll have to see if she knows what she did and can repeat it.

I'm back to being a teacher

I'm hoping that I won't be too bad this year. I can't say I'm starting out too well. Here it is, Sunday night at almost 10:00 p.m. and I don't have my plans ready for tomorrow. I'm sitting here blogging, watching Iron Chef, and eating chocolate chip cookies. Bridget has had her bath and her bottle and is now sleeping next to me on the boppy. Life is good. Just not productive (which it really needs to be right now.) Oh well.

Last week went pretty well. I like my class. They seem to be a really good group. My class is only 16 kids as of right now so that's nice too. One year I had a class of 23 and it just about killed me. My goal for the year is to be consistent in my classroom management. I always start out really good but tend to fall back on the same two techniques and I really need to use other things to keep the kids on their toes.

In Bridget news, she giggled for the first time last Wednesday night! Mike was playing with her after her bath and three giggles came dancing out. It was one of the cutest things I've ever heard. Alas, we have not been able to recreate it.

Bridget also finally met her great-grandma. It was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. My Grandma has never been what you would call a cuddly or loving person. She's just not one of those that really gives hugs or kisses. However, she saw Bridget and melted. She just couldn't let her go. It brought tears to my eyes to see her melting over my sweet little baby. (Please excuse the paint test on the wall.)



I will cherish this always.

I think I'll be alright

I made it through the first few days back at work.  Three days of meetings.  The kids all come back on Monday.  I think it was easier though because she wasn't very far from me.  Mike stayed home on Wednesday and I came home to see her at lunch.  Then Thursday and Friday, my mom took off and took care of her.  So I knew she was just down the street.  Monday will be her first day at daycare.  I absolutely love the lady that will be taking care of her.  She is so nice and was a teacher for several years before this so she knows about child development and all that good stuff.  

Speaking of teaching, so far I have a small class this year.  I've only got 15 kids enrolled at this point so that's nice.  Open house was last night and I actually had 10 families show up.  WooHoo!!  Maybe this year I'll actually have some parent involvement.

Bridget is doing really well.  She's still sleeping through the night (!!!) and she's smiling all the time. I LOVE it!  Check her out...

I'm so happy everytime I wake up and see this face. (And I swear we don't constantly keep her in her bouncer, that's just the easiest place to take pictures of her.)

I feel like crap

I have to leave Bridget tomorrow.  The school year is starting and I no longer get to spend my days at home with my baby.  I have to be in charge of other people's kids.  Next time I get to stay home with my baby, she'll be a year old.  I'm crying just thinking about it.  I can't stand this.

A new toy

Because she did so well at her doctor's appointment today (up another 6oz! Total weight now 8lb, 9oz), Bridget and I went shopping today.  We found a tummy time mat that I just had to get. 

I think she likes it!

"Thanks mommy!  This was a good buy."  :D

Bridget is 7w 3d

Success!

Now, I'm probably jinxing myself right now, but I think we've got a baby that sleeps through the night.  This is amazing at only 7 weeks!   SHE'S SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!  Our routine has been:  4oz bottle, a bit of playtime, bath with the bedtime bath stuff in the purple bottle, put on pj's (which have to be the gown type with hand covers and elastic bottoms), swaddle, rock with mommy, off to sleep after a little bit of comfort nursing.  It's been working for us for 4 nights.  She's usually asleep by 10:30ish and she's sleeping until 5:30ish.  Then she wakes up to eat and usually falls back asleep until 8ish.  It's great!  And this is what I wake up to...

Good morning!

But because I'm a new mommy and worry about everything, I'm kinda worried that this will lead to her not gaining weight.  Doesn't she need to eat to gain weight?  If she's not eating for 7 hour stretches, is that good for her at this age?  I'm going to ask her pedi on Tuesday at her weight check.  He'll probably roll his eyes and say it's fine (as long as she IS gaining weight).  But I'm asking anyways.

I cooked!

I don't think you guys realize how happy this made me!  I actually planned a meal and got to cook it!  Up to this point, it's been a lot of frozen, pre-packaged meals or quick fixes like pasta or hot dogs.  It gets old really fast.  So, in an attempt at feeling more like a good wife and mother, I went to The Pioneer Woman's new site, Tasty Kitchen, and found some meals to make for the week.  I looked through the grocery ads and found most of what I needed on sale (go me!).  Then, I hoped and prayed that I would actually have the energy to cook.  And lo and behold, I did!  (thanks to a certain little girl who slept through the night :))

So, without further ado, I give you...My first real meal since the c-section!

A made up recipe for panko crusted salmon, sauteed zucchini, and mashed potatoes.  OMG, so good (if I do say so myself)!  I had planned on using a recipe for the salmon, but when I got into the kitchen, it just didn't sound appetizing.  So I threw panko crumbs, parmesan, thyme, and olive oil together and packed it onto the salmon that I had sprinkled with lemon pepper.  It came out pretty dang tasty.  And can I state for the record that I am so jealous of all of the people that have tons of zucchini in their gardens right now?  I LOVE zucchini and actually had to go by it at the store.  Bah!

I'm hoping this can continue.  I really do like cooking and planning meals.  

How about you guys?  What have you been eating lately?

Oh glorious sleep

Bridget slept through the night! She fell asleep at 10:30 and she didn't wake up until 5:30 this morning. Woohoo!! I'm feeling great today and I'm really hoping this sleeping thing continues. This is how things are shaping up today though.

Oh look, it's an adorable sleeping baby!  Get the camera.

"Did I hear a camera click? I need to wake up and get in on the action."

"Hey there Mom.  Is it time to eat?"

These were taken within a minute of each other.  ::sigh::  As long as she sleeps at night, I'll be happy.  

8 oz!

Who knew that such a small amount could make a person so happy?!  Bridget went to her weight check today and has gained 8oz this week.  WAHOOOOOOOO!  She is now 8lbs 3oz and doing well.  The doctor wants to see her back again next week and if she's continuing to gain weight like this he'llremove the "failure to thrive" label.  ::sigh of relief::  Go Bridget, go!  Keep growing little one!

Bridget is 6w3d

I'm so scared *updated

We took Bridget to her one month well-baby check on Tuesday. She's five and a half weeks and has not gained any weight. Her head is growing, she's an inch longer, but she's still at her birth weight. I'm so scared. The doctor called it "failure to thrive" which is the worst term ever as it makes it seem like something that can't be overcome. 

I feel like a terrible mommy. I feel like I've failed her. Or her little body is failing her.  And I don't know how to fix it. 

The doctor didn't give us any real answers.  He said it could be anything from not eating enough or not metabolizing calories to enlarged heart or lung problems.  So for the short term, we're supplementing with formula.  I've been pretty much exclusively breastfeeding to this point.  Now I BF and then we offer her a bottle afterward. She has been eating from it so I guess I haven't been providing enough to this point.  Hopefully this will help her get on track.  I'm so scared it's something more serious though. 

We had to take her to get blood drawn yesterday (my heart broke while she cried) and then she had to get chest x-rays done. I'm calling the doctor every few hours hoping that he'll have some update at least on the x-rays. 

Have any of you gone through this? I'm completely freaking out and fighting back tears every few minutes. I just want her to be healthy and happy. Is that too much to ask?

**updated**  The Dr called and everything came back normal in her x-rays and bloodwork.  Actually, he said something in her bloodwork was a little high but didn't say what.  He wasn't concerned.  I am of course. However, I chose not to ask what it was because then I would just spend the rest of the week looking up reasons for elevated whatever-it-was.  I'll be taking her in next Tuesday for a weight check (my idea, not his) to see if this supplementing is working. Please, please let it work.

Happy one month!

Holy cow!!  One month went by so fast!  I don't know that Bridget had gotten much bigger really, but she sure is much more aware and awake.  She just started  really looking at things a few days ago.  And I captured it on camera today!  I was so excited.  She was in a good mood this morning so I decided to try out her bouncer again.  Usually, she starts crying about a minute after we put her in it.  Today she seemed to enjoy  her time.  Check it out - 

"Hey there lamby! One day I will eat you and it will look like this!  RAAAWR"

"Oh hello there Pug.  I see you too.  You are my best friend!"  

(By the way, we have taken to calling Chiisai "the third parent" as anytime she makes even the slightest noise, he runs over to check on her and then stares at us  like "WTH is wrong with you?  Can't you see she needs you?"  It's hilarious actually.)

Then, tonight we gave her her first real bath (her cord stump FINALLY fell off a few days ago). After bath time, it was time to take our official ONE MONTH pictures.  Of course, Bridget was not happy to be unswaddled.  Please notice Mike's arm in the photo and the orange paci on her chest.  A few seconds before this, he had been holding the paci in her mouth and trying to get her to be calm for the picture.  Fat lot of good it did as you can see.  Haha!

"Wrap me  up!  I refuse to cooperate unless you swaddle me NOW!"

So, we swaddled her up and put her Picky Sticky sticker onto her blanket (a good idea from Sarah who also sent us the wonderful Picky Stickies!)  (And I had to link to the blankets because seriously, I am in love with these things.  They're big and light and swaddle REALLY well and they're the only thing that keeps Bridget happy and contained.)

"Alright, now I will lay here for your photo.  Thanks Mom!"

You're welcome my little Bridgey.  Mommy loves you.  Happy one month birthday baby!

I have a question.

Why is it that my child won't sleep when she's clean, fed, swaddled, and being held but when you start lighting off fireworks, she's out like a light?

We spent all day yesterday with a fussy little baby.  I bought her a cute little 4th of July onesie and was looking forward to pictures.  Little Miss over here had other plans apparently.  She flat out refused to be even somewhat calm if she was unswaddled.  So,  even though you can't see it, know that she was dressed for the occasion.

Happy first 4th Bridget!

Oh, and btw, can anyone else not believe that she'll be one MONTH old tomorrow?!  Where the heck did the time go?

She's sleeping

So I will try to update while she is quiet.  Seriously, last night was the toughest yet.  This child would not sleep.  She was wide awake from 7pm-4am.  Luckily, it was a quiet awake and not a screaming/crying awake.  Then, she went to sleep from 4-6 and was up again.  She's slept a little bit this morning but not for any stretches longer than 30 minutes.  I feel terrible for Mike.  He's been absolutely amazing at making sure I get sleep at night by taking her until she falls asleep.  Last night he would not let me take her from him though.  And he was soooo tired.  He's worried that if I walk with her and don't rest, I won't heal from the c-section.    Poor thing held her ALL NIGHT and then went to work this morning.  I LOVE that he cares so much for me and her, but I'm worried that he's going to make himself sick if he doesn't get some rest.  I really hope this little girl figures out the difference between night and day soon.

Anyway, I didn't start this post to complain.  I started it to show you more pictures of this little girl.

First day home.  Isn't that the cutest dress.  Oh, and that pacifier... Drives me crazy but keeps her happy so it has become a permanent fixture.  

Bridget and Mike with his brother and sister (and Chiisai).  His little brother is so cute with her.  He thinks having the "uncle" title is the absolute greatest thing in the world.

Meeting great-grandma for the first time. Grandma was amazed with all the hair. (as is everyone it seems)

First bath. (well, sponge bath b/c her cord stump is still there) She was NOT happy with the getting wet part but she LOVED the baby towel. This kid loves to be swaddled.

Finally, Happy First Father's Day to Mike. We took this last night so it's the most up to date picture of her. I can't believe she is already more than two weeks old.

Well, she's waking up.  I got lucky with 45 minutes.  I have other things to post about (my awesome mom, the adorable gift from Rotten, the animals' reaction to the little one) so, hopefully I'll get to them in a few days.  

I miss you all.  I'm still keeping up with you.  I'll comment when I can.