I think I've hit the breaking point

Seriously people, I'm losing it here.  I can't stop crying.  The closest thing I can get to a description of how I'm feeling is angry.  It's mixed in with frustration and confusion and anxiety, but mostly I feel angry.

Today is the last day of school.  I really wanted to go in and see my kids one last time.  But no, I'm stuck here at home because I don't have a car and I'm afraid to go anywhere alone anyways.  I know that's silly but I'm just so scared that I'll go into labor and won't be able to drive back home.  Plus, then Mike wouldn't have a way to get here.  I'd rather he had the car so that he can get here if I need him.  So here I sit, getting more frustrated woth waiting and NOTHING happening.   I just hate it so much.  I hate waiting.  I hate not knowing.  I'm tired.  And I'm angry.

Nothing to report **updated**

Just wanted to let you all now that there's still no baby arrival.  I'm about to head out for an NST and then a doctor's appointment.  I'm feeling pretty crappy today.  I'm kinda hoping that it will lead to labor.  I'll let you now if there's anything interesting later today.

Alrighty, so I've been having contractions here and there today.  Caught three during the 20 minute NST.  TOCOS was going up to about 35 so they're getting stronger.  But alas, they have stopped now.  Oh yeah, and my bp was 118/68.  SWEET!  I was quite proud.  haha.

The doctor says I'm at almost 3cm dilated, 70% effaced, and the baby is at a -3 station (firmly against the cervix but not pushing down yet.)  He says nothing will likely change until labor actually starts.  But hey, I've definitely made progress.  They say the first stage of labor is progressing from 0-3.  Does that mean I'm already done with that part?  If so, that was easy.  :)

So, now we just keep waiting.  Hopefully she shows in the next few days.  My doctor is apparently going out of town this weekend so if she comes after Friday, someone I have never met will be delivering the baby.  Hmmm....  Oh well I gess.  As long as she gets here and is healthy, I'll be happy.

Because I'm bored

I'm still sans baby, so I've been wandering around on YouTube.  Always the best use of time, dontcha think?  Anyways, here is my find for the night.  I post it for all of you, but especially Duck.  Ah, Anthony Kiedis before he got stupid and cut off his hair.

And here's another.  We all know this one but I never realized how completely bizarre this video was until I saw this version.  Absolutely cracked Mike and me up!

Hope you all have a great night (or morning if you're reading tomorrow).  I'm off to bounce on my yoga ball in hopes of moving this baby down.